Crimson and Clover
by TheRavenLady
Summary: Vivian Moore (OC) is a vampire. After being bitten at the tender age of sixteen, she had to leave Hogwarts to get used to her new body and her new way of life. But when she comes back to complete her sixth year, things are different. She gets shunned, and isn't used to her new life. Things don't look too good; until she meets Harry Potter, that is...
1. Going Back to Hogwarts

Getting off the train, I looked around me, taking in the flood of other students with my sharp new eyes. I was still taken by surprise by the clarity of my vision ever since I was bitten all those months ago. Some things had been easy to adjust to; the loping grace and poise of my body and reflexes, the speed of my mind, and my new way of thinking, but other things were not as easy. For instance, my vision still startled me, as did my hearing. Then, there was the unnatural speed and strength. My reflexes were a little different too, although it hadn't taken me long to get adjusted to that. My senses were heightened, and it was as exhilarating as it was frightening.

I joined the throng of other students making their way towards the carriages, and the proximity was frightening; all I saw were pulses gently throbbing in pale, exposed throats; all I could hear was the beating of hearts and the rushing of blood through veins; and all I could smell was blood everywhere. It was like a feast had been laid before a starving man. My mouth watered, my fangs aching and threatening to elongate, and my instincts were fighting to control and take over so that I could rip, tear, and toss aside flesh to expose the crimson gold beneath it… I shook my head to clear myself of those thoughts.

I climbed into a carriage by myself, hoping not to attract too much attention and be able to slip into the castle unnoticed.

Everyone at school but the first years knew about my 'condition'. A curse would be the more accurate way to describe it. I knew that everyone would shy away from me, but I didn't care too much. I had always kept to myself, anyway. I just hoped that it wouldn't get in the way of me being able to continue with school. I had to repeat my sixth year, because I had barely been in the beginning when I was bitten. The only bad part about it was that the few friends I had would be in seventh year this year, taking their N.E.W.T's and hanging out with kids in their own year, so I probably wouldn't be able to see them much, if they even wanted anything to do with me anymore. It sucked* that I probably wouldn't be able to talk to the only friends I had, but there was nothing I could do about it. No one here could possibly understand what I was going through, and if I knew any better, and I was sure I did, then they wouldn't even try.

Things were going to be very tricky this year.

Once all of my fellow Ravenclaws were settled around me at our table, they took notice of me and shied away, giving me space to myself. That was just as well; the smell of their blood was almost too much, and I didn't want to be tempted.

In fact, the smell of everyone's blood was too much, and I was beginning to doubt my decision to return. Dumbledore had praised me for my decision, and told me that I was brave, and a good example for the rest of my 'kind'. I wasn't sure that I believed him. I had expected people to stay away from me and all that, and I had expected to have to curb my instincts and cravings a lot, but now that it was actually happening, I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I was beginning to doubt that I could handle it properly.

I gripped the table so hard my already pale knuckles turned paler still, and when I removed my hand from the edge of the table, there was a dent in the shape of my fingers left in the wood. I swallowed, flexing my hand, and looked away, trying to pay attention to all of the first years being Sorted into their Houses. I barely even paid any attention to Dumbledore, who I normally would've given all of my focus.

I ate some food, although not very much; nothing tasted right anymore. The only thing that would satisfy me for the rest of my life was blood. It was a hard truth, but I had to learn to accept it, or I would never be able to move on with my life.

Once dinner was finished, I made my way to Ravenclaw Tower, answered the question, and trudged into the sixth-year dormitory, which now had one more bed than usual. I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed, drawing the curtains around me and enclosing myself in darkness, all the while muffling the whispers coming from outside my little shelter. I knew they were all talking about me, but I didn't know how much I cared.

Even though the sound of their whispers would've been drowned out for a human, I heard every word they said. They seemed to have forgotten that vampires have excellent hearing.

"I can't believe she actually came back," Sophia Bloom said quietly. I heard the rustle of fabric sliding across her skin, and knew that she and the other girls were changing out of their robes and into their pajamas.

"I know, right?" Morag McDougal replied. "I know I wouldn't want to come back. And anyway, how could Dumbledore trust her? She's a vampire; what if she kills us in our sleep and drinks our blood? I know I won't be getting much sleep this year."

"I think it's very brave of her." Sylvia Hearting said quietly from her bed. "No one else would've tried to come back, I don't think. I think she's brave, and she deserves a little more credit."

The other girls scoffed. "Give me a break Sylvia," Morag said. "She's dangerous."

Sylvia sighed, and the conversation came to an end. I couldn't sleep, and I knew the other girls weren't, either. Their breathing was nowhere near even and deep enough, and their hearts were beating a little faster than normal. I could hear the rustle of sheets and blankets sliding across each other and smell the small sparks of electricity that came with it and the sweat clinging to Morag. They were all nervous; all of them except Sylvia, who was breathing deeply and evenly, sound asleep.

I curled up into a ball, tried not to think too much, and eventually, sleep claimed me, pulling me into the dark, mysterious void of my dreams where I was normal and safe for once.

The next morning, I was returned to the thrill of learning, as classes had begun. I could actually enjoy this part of coming back to school. I was a Ravenclaw, after all; I enjoyed the experience of learning.

My initial fears of people ignoring me began to fade as the days wore on; I had decided that I didn't care. I wasn't going to put too much worry into it anymore. I had always been more of a solitary being, anyway, so I guess there wasn't much difference, other than the fact that other people were ignoring me instead of the other way around, like it had been before. However, as I went through my daily routine, I found that I was missing my friends. They were all in different classes and such now, so I hardly ever got to see them for the homework load and studying for exams.

Of course, the bliss that came with ignorance didn't last very long.

One morning, when we were in Divination, Professor Trelawney was sweeping about the room, her beads clacking together slightly and her shawls billowing and rustling about, inspecting everyone's work with the crystal balls through her largely magnified eyes. I watched her quietly from my seat alone in the corner, not saying a word, and just listening to the soft chatter around me as people held their whispered conversations.

I was mainly trying to focus on not gagging, because the smell of incense that had been overpowering before was now choking to my sensitive nose. It was like I was eating the stuff; I had to use all of my willpower not to cough and sputter and gag throughout the whole class. I decided that later on, I would go and see about getting out of this class. I didn't even know why I had bothered to take it; the subject had never been of particular interest to me.

Of course, she spotted me, and turned her large gaze on me. Everyone eventually noticed as she started towards me, and they all watched in silence, wondering what she was going to say. We all thought she was a right fraud and a joke, but we were always highly interested when she tried to make predictions, just to see what nonsense she would try to sell us.

"I see that you have a very dark future ahead of you," she said in her dreamy, slightly haunting voice. "There shall be blood spilt, and dark omens point to your destruction."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I'm sure that we're all going to die a horrible, agonizing death sometime in the near future. I already know the story."

Everyone flinched at the sound of my voice; it was slightly sharper than it used to be, and no one had heard a word out of me since term started. It was interesting to listen to their pulses quicken, see them clench their hands under the table, or swallow nervously, the scent of sudden sweat filling my nostrils along with the choking scent of the classroom.

She just looked at me, shaking her head. "You do not understand, child. There is darkness around you; your aura shows of it."

"I wonder why," I said in biting tones. "I'm a vampire. That might have something to do with it. Or maybe it's just this freaking classroom; I can't even breathe properly." I stood just as the bell rang, signaling the end of class. "Good day, Professor."

And with that, I left the classroom, leaving a stunned silence behind me.


	2. Crossing Paths

**A/N: **Well, ladies and gents; here's chapter two! Things are about to start picking up; don't abandon Vivian just yet!

There was a lot of talk after that. I wasn't able to switch out of Divination, so I was stuck there, but Trelawney never messed with me again after that. Things seemed to be going back to normal; or as normal as they could get, with my situation. People still ignored me, and shied away from my presence, but I was done pretending that I cared. Let them believe what they wanted; as long as it didn't hinder me, I could care less.

I spent most of my days in the library, an old friend of mine. I read everything I could find about vampire lore, as my resources had been limited at home. Now there was a seemingly limitless number of books for me to pursue on the subject, and I was buried in them.

One Saturday evening in early October, I was sitting in the library, in a dark corner, reading a particularly interesting book on research about the conflict between vampires and werewolves when I heard someone walking behind me. At first, I didn't pay much attention to it, but when I caught the conversation, I began to listen with interest, all the while pretending to still be buried in my book.

"Has Dumbledore told you what you're doing yet?" I heard someone ask.

"No; I just have to wait until our first lesson." I knew that voice- that was Harry Potter. I assumed the other person with him was Ron Weasley, judging by the fact that it was a male. I figured the also infamous Hermione Granger was with them, as well. The three were never far apart.

"Well, it won't do us any good to think about it too much." Definitely Hermione. "We're not going to know until the first lesson, so there's no point in getting frustrated over it."

There was silence for a moment.

"Did you hear about the vampire girl?" Weasley asked.

Didn't they have anything else to talk about anymore? We had been in school for two months now, for goodness' sake.

"What about her?" Granger asked.

"Well, there's a right lot of talk, there is," Weasley replied. "I heard a few Ravenclaws talking about how they're afraid to sleep at night and stuff. They said they're afraid she's going to kill them. Someone even said they saw her hunting in the Forbidden Forest a few weeks ago."

Granger sighed. "That's pathetic, Ron. I highly doubt that she's going to kill anyone, and I especially doubt that she's been anywhere near the Forbidden Forest. I think that if Dumbledore trusted her enough to let her come back, then there's no point in worrying about her."

"I agree with Hermione," Harry said. "Dumbledore never would've let her in here if she was dangerous."

"Even though she is a young vampire, it's been a year since she was bitten, and she had a lot of time to gain some control over herself. And imagine how she feels," Granger whispered. "Everyone's been gossiping about her and avoiding her ever since she set foot in the castle. It must be awfully lonely, with no one talking to her or anything."

Weasley scoffed. "She's a vampire, Hermione!"

"What does that have to do with it?" She snapped. "She's still just like the rest of us, isn't she? Yes, she drinks blood and there are a few things she can do that we can't but she's still a teenager, too! This has to be devastating for her."

There was silence again, as neither one of them said anything. I heard their breathing and heart rates settle down.

I set my book down and quietly walked over to them, which wasn't hard to do with my new grace and poise.

I leaned against a bookshelf, and crossed my arms over my chest. "Thank you for defending me," I said.

They jumped, all startled by my presence. Weasley blushed, his ears and face turning scarlet with the blood rushing under his skin, and Hermione blushed slightly, smiling sheepishly. Harry just looked at me.

"No one else would've done that, just now," I whispered. "Everyone's been avoiding me and all." I shrugged. "I guess it's no big deal, though. I've never been the social type. But I do appreciate it." I gave a small smile.

"You're quite welcome," Hermione said.

I held out my hand. "I'm Vivian," I said. "In case no one ever actually bothered to learn my name, and I'm just 'the vampire girl'," I smirked.

Weasley blushed again as Hermione shook my hand. She flinched slightly at my cooler temperature, but didn't voice anything about it. Harry and Ron had the same reaction to my cooler skin.

"I'm so sorry everyone's treating you this way, Vivian," Hermione whispered. "It's really unfair. They should give you a chance."

I shrugged again. "It just comes with the territory, I guess."

"What are you planning to do after school?" Ron blurted.

Hermione shot him a cross look; Harry just continued his silence.

"Probably join a coven," I said. "I know my family doesn't really want me around anymore, and I shouldn't be around humans anyway. I don't belong here anymore. The only reason I came back to Hogwarts is because I feel compelled to finish my education. It won't do me any good once I get out of here, because no one will ever hire a vampire, but it'll bring me some personal satisfaction."

"I think it was brave of you to come back." That was the first thing that Harry had said to me. There was kindness and slight pity in the depths of his bright, emerald-green eyes.

I smiled. "A lot of people disagree with that. They just say I'm mad."

He shook his head, and some of his messy black hair fell into his eyes. "Maybe they're the mad ones."

I felt a rush of affection and respect for him. No one had ever said anything like that to me before; not even my mum and dad. They knew I would be treated as an outcast, and even did so themselves, and never tried to comfort me once. But this boy- and Harry Potter, no less- told me he thought I was brave and that everybody else was wrong for shoving me aside.

"I… thank you," I whispered. "I didn't think there was a single soul in this school besides Dumbledore who thought of me otherwise."

Hermione gently touched me on the shoulder. "Well, you're not alone."

After the little talk with Harry and his friends in the library, my spirits soared considerably. For once, instead of seeing disapproving faces, I saw just regular people. It truly didn't bother me that anyone talked anymore, because I had that burning hope within me that was restored when I found out that there were people who didn't think I was scum. It was a wonderful feeling.

I decided that I would try to talk to my sister Eliza about it; I hadn't seen much of her since term started, but I attributed that to her being a fourth year and the both of us having different schedules.

I was wrong.

I saw her on the grounds, enjoying a book by herself on a blanket. I went and sat down next to her. She smiled, probably thinking it was one of her friends, and when she saw it was me, her face dropped a little bit.

"Hi, Vivian," she said in a small voice.

"Hey. How have you been? I haven't gotten much of a chance to talk with you since term started."

She shrugged. "You know, the usual. Just busy with homework and such. Planning for the next Hogsmeade weekend."

I nodded. "I don't even know if I'm going." I rested my chin on my knees. "Maybe I will; grab some Blood Pops from Honeydukes." I nodded. "Yeah; that sounds good."

She looked mortified. "Um, okay."

There was an awkward silence then. It seemed to stab at me, telling me the things that Eliza wouldn't; that she didn't want me here. It was obvious in the way she turned away from me, and how her palms were sweaty. She was embarrassed, and she was afraid that her friends might see her sitting here with me. I knew she just wanted me to go away and leave her alone.

"You're embarrassed of me, aren't you?" I whispered.

She looked at me, and flinched slightly. She wouldn't say it out loud.

"Just say it. I know you are. Trust me; it won't hurt me more than it did to figure it out on my own."

When she didn't say anything, I scoffed.

"This is unbelievable," I said, standing. "You're just as pathetic as mum and dad; you're all ashamed of me, but you won't even admit it to my face. I wonder how many conversations you all had about me when I wasn't listening. When I was too busy lying in bed with my throat scorching, torturing myself over not having blood because I was afraid of what I would see when I came out? Wonder what you were talking about then? Certainly not the weather."

She flinched, but remained silent, not even looking me in the eye.

"You know what, Eliza? I don't need you," I said with venom. "I don't need any of you. You can all go back to your normal, happy lives, because I'm never going back to that cage of a house again."

I walked away, and broke into a run. I was a blur; the chilly wind numbed my face as I ran faster than any human could dream. I ran into the castle, away from my sister and the agony that came with her truths; I ran away from the life I had known, and abandoned all reason as I flew through the corridors, not caring if I knocked anyone over.

Eventually, I stopped and leaned against the wall, not even winded from my flight. I just stood there, not sure what to do with myself.

I closed my eyes, and didn't even flinch when I heard footsteps.

"Vivian?"

I opened my eyes and saw Harry standing there, looking cautious and concerned.

"Oh… hi, Harry."

"Are you alright?" he asked, taking a few steps closer.

I slid down on the wall, and hugged my knees to my chest. "Not really. But then again, when will I ever be alright? My family hates me; they're ashamed of having a vampire for a daughter. My own sister can't even look me in the eye." I sighed, shaking my head, and let my dark air hang like a curtain around my face. "I just never wanted it to be this way."

He came over and sat down next to me. "No one ever does want things to turn out like this." He said gently. "Actually, nothing ever really works out the way we want it to."

I gave a grim smile. "Prime example number one," I said, gesturing to myself.

He nodded. "I know what you mean."

There was silence between us then, although it wasn't uncomfortable; just easy and natural. Neither one of us felt the need to puncture the safety of the silence with meaningless words; we had reached an understanding. We just sat there for a while, leaning against the cool stone walls, content with the quiet.

"Sometimes I think that it was wrong for me to come back. Sometimes, I wish I had just left home and joined a coven, instead. I never would've had this much trouble if I would have," I whispered after a moment.

He turned his emerald gaze onto me, and I felt a shiver run down my spine. There was so much behind those eyes; things I wouldn't understand if I hadn't lived to see it, emotions I would never feel unless I was exposed to some of the awful things he had, and a quiet understanding and sympathy that affected me the most deeply. The fact that he had taken the time to even ask what was wrong had made a world of difference for me.

"Well, like I said before, I think it was brave of you to come back, when you knew many people would be against it. And if you hadn't, you wouldn't have been very happy. You said yourself that you wanted nothing more than to have the satisfaction of at least being able to say you finished school."

I nodded. "That is true, but it's just so hard." Tears sprang to my eyes. "I'm trying to be brave and not act like a baby, but my own sister just admitted she was embarrassed by me. She didn't have to say anything, but I know. I've known all summer that they didn't want me home. I heard some of their conversations; they're afraid and embarrassed. They don't know what to do with me, and they were frightened and relieved when I decided I was coming back. They were frightened because they were afraid I would kill somebody, but they were relieved because they didn't have to be the ones dealing with me anymore."

He gently placed a hand on my shoulder, and I instantly felt the rush of blood through his veins, which was ten times worse than having to hear it. That was akin to smelling it; I shied away from his touch, and curled up even tighter on myself.

"Is something wrong?" he asked quietly.

"Just… sometimes it's difficult to restrain my… needs," I said.

He paled slightly, but didn't run away. "Oh. I'm sorry; I didn't even think about that."

I shrugged. "It's alright." I gave a humorless laugh. "That's funny; I don't think I've heard that one yet."

He frowned slightly. "I know I've already said this, but I'm sorry you have to go through this."

I shook my head. "You and Hermione are the only ones who seem to feel that way." I took a deep breath. "But I stopped caring a long time ago. I'm going to just try and breeze through these next two years with as little confrontation as possible, and when I leave, I'll join a coven and no one will ever have to see me again."

His eyes dropped to the ground for a moment before he met my gaze again. "I'm sorry that you feel like it has to end that way," he whispered before getting up and walking away, leaving me to contemplate his words and wonder if I was making the right choices.

I seemed to cross paths with Harry a lot from then on. Sometimes it seemed intentional, but other times, it was completely random. We never saw too much of each other, though, as we were in different Houses and we never had classes with each other. I found myself rather enjoying his company; he was slightly awkward at times, but easy to talk to and good-natured. He seemed to have a lot on his mind, though, and sometimes was so distracted by whatever was going on in his head that it was near impossible to hold a conversation with him.

Two weeks after the confrontation with Eliza, the Hogsmeade weekend had arrived. I had decided that I was going, and would like to spend some time wandering through the village, deciding that getting out of the castle for a while would be a welcome change of scenery.

So I shrugged on my dark grey pea coat and donned my black gloves, my Ravenclaw scarf tied stylishly around my neck. I waited for Filch to check me off the list before heading into the village on my own, my hands in my pockets, fingering my spending money, wondering what I was going to purchase, if I could muster up the guts to go into any of the major shops. Just when I entered the outskirts of the small village, I heard someone calling my name.

"Vivian!"

I turned to see a slightly flushed Harry coming towards me, Ron and Hermione soon trailing after.

I smiled. "Hi, Harry." I inclined my head at his two companions. "Hey, Hermione. Hi, Ron." I gave him a smile and waggled my fingers at him, making him sputter and blush. It was quite amusing. "I was wondering… would you like to spend the day with us? I would've asked you before, but I wasn't sure if you were going," Harry said, seeming to bite back a laugh at his friend's embarrassment.

I shrugged. "Sure. Thanks for offering."

He smiled. "No problem. It's always a little more enjoyable when you have someone with you," he said.

"That is true. Thanks so much. Where are we heading first?"

"I think we should go to Honeydukes." Hermione piped up.

"Ooh, that sounds excellent." I said. "I'd like to get a few blood pops, and I've been dying to see if I can still stomach chocolate."

They all seemed a little taken aback by what I said.

"I'm sorry… too much?" I asked.

Harry shook his head, while Ron was still pale and Hermione was trying to fix her expression. "It's not a problem," Harry said.

I smiled, relaxing slightly. "Thank goodness."

We spent the rest of the day together, going into the shops and ogling over things. I felt like I was normal again. It made me feel… human again, and that was something I hadn't felt since the day I had been cursed with the bite. Things were looking up, and my care-free attitude from my human days had finally returned to me, making me feel alive and free in a way that I hadn't felt in over a year. It was like time had turned backwards, and I was just Vivian again, an inconspicuous Ravenclaw who was just like any other teenager. The feeling was liberating.

By the time we made our way back into the castle for dinner, I was smiling and laughing, and all of my worries had melted away, long forgotten in the bliss that came with Harry, Ron, and Hermione's companionship. After I went to Ravenclaw Tower and shrugged off my coat, scarf, and gloves, and put away my purchases, I waited until the other girls had cleared out.

When everyone else in my dormitory was gone, I pulled out three blood bags from my special storage compartment. Dumbledore had been gracious enough to provide me with bagged blood so that I could sustain myself; he even gave me a special storage container for it that kept it at a normal human temperature. It was human blood, but it was from donors. It wasn't fresh blood, which I had never tasted, but I had a feeling this was pretty close.

My fangs elongated, and I sank them into the plastic, savoring the taste as the crimson liquid rushed across my tongue, making my senses come to life. It was so good and refreshing after a long day of running about through the October chill and walking around. I drank deeply, and within seconds, my first bag was empty. I set it next to me and tore into the second, and soon, all three of them were empty and shriveled on my bed. I looked at them forlornly, wishing I could tear into more.

I disposed of the empty blood bags, and pulled out my latest book on vampires. It was by Gilderoy Lockhart; he was complete and utter rubbish, but the research was correct, and it enlightened me on the ways of vampire covens and how they worked.

At that thought, I wondered if I should just join a coven in the summer and forget about school. There was no use for it out there for me, because no one in their right mind would hire a vampire for anything. From what I had read so far, they seemed to sustain themselves by other means.

But then there was the matter of where to go to find a coven to join. And not all of them would take me with open arms; they were very selective, depending on who you were dealing with. Of course, not all vampires joined covens, preferring the lone road, but I knew that in order to survive in this new life that it would be necessary for me to join one.

With a sigh, I put my book away. My life was just one big mass of questions; but the thing was, I didn't have any answers.

**AN:** Reviews? I love them a lot :)


	3. Proximity

"I'm starting to wonder if you're trying to murder your reputation on purpose," I said as Harry sat down next to me underneath the birch tree by the lake, the wind whipping both of our hair into our eyes. I brushed away the dark strands of my hair out of my eyes and glanced at him.

"I don't care what they think of me that much anymore," he said, looking out onto the surface of the water.

"That's one of the smartest things you've ever said." I grinned.

He blushed slightly and looked out onto the water again, not saying anything for a moment. He looked at me again, curiosity in his eyes. "How so?" he asked.

"Well, the sooner people realize that other people's opinions are just a load of rubbish, the sooner they can move on with their lives and actually accomplish something. You've finally reached that phase." I smiled.

He laughed slightly, running a hand through his hair and messing it up even more. "I'm guessing that's a good thing by the way you're smiling at me."

"I think it is; it's really a matter of opinion." I waved my finger. "And here's the trick: Forming an opinion about opinion itself. A very complex ordeal, for something as simple as words. Well, as simple as words get; let me rephrase that: It's rather complex for something that seems as f it should be fairly simple. No matter what you're talking about, no two people are thinking about the situation exactly the same, even if they both have the same view of the subject."

He just looked at me for a moment. "Yes, you most certainly are a Ravenclaw," he said.

I laughed. "I've been told."

He smiled. "Halloween is tomorrow," he said randomly.

"It would seem to be so," I said as I watched the graceful arc of one of the giant squid's tentacles as it swung above the surface of the water, snatching a bird that was diving for a fish. I looked at him. "Got any pranks up your sleeve?" I asked, gently elbowing him.

He laughed. "No; not this year. That was Fred and George's job, anyway. No one can outdo them."

"That is true."

There was silence again, but it was never uncomfortable between us. We both looked out onto the murky surface of the lake, and observed the giant squid snatch a few more birds from the air, the chilled October wind blowing our hair in our eyes, despite our best efforts to keep it away.

I smiled. I could get used to this.

I had new faith in myself; I had decided that other people didn't matter. I went through each day as if the other people didn't exist. I went to my classes and did all of my homework, and was never rude to anyone, even when they were less than civil to me. Harry, Ron, and Hermione continued to talk to and hang out with me and, for the first time all school year, I felt like I belonged again. They made me feel human, and I could never thank them enough for it.

On Halloween morning, I was called to Dumbledore's office. I approached the gargoyle, and gave the password, and went up the spiral staircase. When I knocked on the door, it swung open. I stepped into the office and saw Dumbledore sitting at his desk, smiling politely at me.

"There you are, Miss Moore. Please, have a seat."

I did as he said. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

He nodded. "I was just inquiring about how you're faring. I know there have been some rumors, and I just wondered if you're alright."

I nodded. "There have been rumors, but they've slowed down."

"Very good. What about other things? How are you faring with your cravings?"

I swallowed. "I'll admit, sir, that it's rather difficult sometimes. Well, it's difficult all the time, actually. But I'm managing. I haven't bitten anyone yet."

He nodded. "That's very good. I'm glad to see that you're adjusting so well." He paused for a moment. "Has anyone talked to you?"

I nodded, which seemed to surprise him somewhat. "Actually, yes. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley have become friends of mine."

He smiled, his blue eyes twinkling. "That is excellent news. I'm certainly glad to see that you've found some companionship."

"It definitely helps."

"Indeed it does. And the nice bridging of the House gap is another added bonus." He smiled.

I returned his smile. "I'm glad we've become friends. It makes things easier. And, to be honest, they make me feel… human again. I feel like a normal person when I'm with them."

He gave another bright smile. "I'm glad to hear it. Do you need anymore blood?"

"Yes. I'm running a bit low."

"Alright, then. I'll make sure to procure you some more. You may go for now."

I nodded and left the office, feeling happy. I went to the library, as I had no use for being in the Great Hall, and finished up my Potions essay. It was due today, and Snape would be cruel if any of us turned it in late. Satisfied with my conclusion, I rolled up my parchment and placed it in my bag.

I was preparing to leave just as I heard someone walk up behind me. The scent was unmistakable, and I smiled as I turned around.

"Good morning, Harry," I said brightly.

He smiled, his emerald eyes sparkling. "Hey, Vivian. I just saw you in here, and thought I'd stop and chat."

I set my bag down and patted the chair next to mine. "Be my guest. I just finished up my Potions essay."

He groaned. "Oh. That."

I raised an eyebrow. "You didn't finish it, did you?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Tisk, tisk, Mr. Potter. I certainly expected more from you."

"Now you sound like Hermione," he said.

I laughed. "I'm just trying to save your skin. Snape will flay you alive for that one."

He nodded. "But, mine isn't due until tomorrow, I have time to finish it."

"You won't," I said.

He pretended to look taken aback. "How could you suggest such a thing? I always do my work."

We looked at each other, and within a few seconds, were desperately trying to muffle our obnoxious laughter. I clutched at my stomach, and had a hand over my mouth, trying not to attract the attention of Madam Pince, who was more than likely prowling the shelves in search of rule-breakers. Tears flooded my eyes, and we were both doubled over in our chairs. One might think we were about to be sick.

After we composed ourselves (which took about five minutes), we sat there and tried to steady our breathing. I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes and tried to calm down. We avoided each other's gazes for fear of bursting into laughter again. Once we decided we were alright, we looked at each other.

I then realized that his face was mere inches from mine. Suddenly, my breathing hitched, and I was completely overwhelmed by the desire to kiss him. His lips looked so soft and sweet and inviting, and I wanted to know how they would feel against mine. But then another desire overwhelmed that one: the smell of blood. Suddenly, I wanted to press my mouth against his throat instead of his lips, and to bite and tear instead of kiss.

I pulled away, cringing at my own thoughts, and looked down. He seemed confused by my sudden shyness, and gently placed a hand on my shoulder. My fangs slid back into my gums, and I turned to face him.

"Are you alright?" He asked in a soft voice.

"I… I think so," I said, taking deep breaths and trying to steady myself.

I met his gaze. His eyes were burning, filled with an emerald fire that I had never seen before. Suddenly, blood was forgotten as his lips met mine, and before I knew what was happening, we were kissing.

It was… it was amazing. It was sweet and slightly shy at first, but then he became more confident. He pulled me in closer, and I was surrounded by him; by his arms, his scent, his taste, his touch… he was all around me. His lips tasted sweet, like muffins, and I smiled against his mouth at that thought.

When we pulled away, we just looked at each other. His eyes were still burning, and I thought mine were, too. I gently touched his face and leaned my forehead against his, feeling the blood flow through his veins, his pulse racing. I could both feel and hear it, and it was lovely to know that I had caused it. His breathing was slightly uneven, and I smiled. I met his burning eyes again, and pressed my lips to his once more.

I was always afraid things would go too far. I was afraid my desire for his blood would weigh out my desire for just him, and that kept me on edge.

So, during times like these, I was on my guard.

We were pressed against a wall in an empty classroom on the fifth floor, away from everyone else, our lips locked together, our hearts fluttering wildly, our fingers tangled in each other's dark hair. I felt like a mess, but just as that thought entered my mind, he pressed his lips against my ear and whispered,

"You're beautiful."

My heart stuttered, and I smiled as I granted him more kisses. After a few moments, we broke away, trying to steady our breathing. I smiled at him, and he paled just a little bit.

"What?"

And then I realized that my fangs were out. That was why he broke away. I turned around and willed them to slide back in. Once they did, I turned back around to face him, but the magic of the moment was lost.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

He shook his head and came closer to me. "Don't be. You can't help it."

"You're not freaked out by this at all? This doesn't make you want to be away from me?"

He shook his head again. "No."

To prove his point, he kissed me. I got lost in the moment, and our conversation was forgotten, our reason abandoned as we lost ourselves in each other once again, the magic returning.

I went through my classes a little slower now, stopping to appreciate the things around me instead of simply working mechanically like I had been. I felt relieved, although I wasn't sure why I had been anxious. Maybe it was the release of the tension that I hadn't known was built up inside of me; tension that used to coil my stomach in knots and plague and invade my dreams; tension that had been tearing me to shreds. Only when it disappeared was when I realized it had been there.

Eliza didn't talk to me anymore. I didn't receive anymore letters from mum and dad (although they had only sent me one in the first week, anyway, so there wasn't much of a loss there), and my old friends continued to ignore me. That was fine by me; I had new friends.

I had never expected to be friends with a band of Gryffindors, or even a band of any kind of people. But there I was, sitting in an empty classroom with a group of them, studying and completing our essays. Hermione and I had really become attached; she and I were very much alike. We were both intelligent, and she was the only one of the group that could hold the deep, long conversations that I craved. Topics ranged from rights for house elves, to theories on charms, and translations in ancient runes. I relished being able to be my Ravenclaw self. However, I was more the quiet intellectual, while Hermione wasn't afraid to speak her mind, which I envied. But then again, I wasn't a Gryffindor for a reason.

However, despite the happiness that surrounded me, there were sinister things going on in the castle. Just a few weeks before, Katie Bell had been sent to St. Mungo's when she was put under the Imperius Curse and touched a cursed necklace. Everyone was in a slight panic, no one knowing who had cursed her and given the necklace, or where they would have gotten such a thing. The prospect was rather frightening, considering the fact that weeks had passed and she still wasn't back from the hospital, and the teachers still hadn't figured out who had given her the thing in the first place.

I tried to put it from my mind, though. Some days were easier. Days like these when I sat with Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were the easier ones.

"Your grammar is atrocious," I said as I looked over Ron's essay.

His ears turned pink, and he snatched the parchment away from me while everyone else laughed.

"It's not that bad!" But he cast an uncertain glance at Hermione. "Is it?"

She nodded, stifling a laugh.

He narrowed his eyes and began scribbling away again, determined to ignore me and prove me wrong. I rolled my eyes and focused on my own herbology essay, trying to decide how best to write my conclusion. After a few edits, I was satisfied, and rolled it up, placing it in my bag.

"This is impossible; I'm buried in homework," Ginny groaned. She let her head fall onto the desktop, sighing dramatically.

"You'll get through it," Harry said as he flipped through his herbology book, looking for what he needed for his essay.

I pulled out some fresh parchment and began astronomy essay. "Harry's right; it seems impossible, but if you put your mind to it, then everything will be fine. You're a smart girl; you can handle it."

She gave me a disbelieving look. "My brain is going to implode," she said as she buried her face in her hands once more.

I laughed and returned to my own essay, wondering how best to write the second paragraph, when the silence was broken again.

"Thanks for helping us out, Vivian," Hermione said as her quill scratched across her parchment. She turned to me and smiled when she was finished with her sentence.

I returned her smile. "You're more than welcome. I almost forgot what it felt like to work with other people."

She gave a slight laugh. "Well, you're more than welcome to join us anytime you want. We could definitely use a sharp mind like yours."

"You talk like you're not smarter than me," I said.

She blushed and turned back to her essay, smiling to herself. I watched, transfixed, as the blood welled under her delicate skin. Oh, how inviting it was! I longed to go over there and gently slide my fangs into her neck. I wondered how she would taste. I could already imagine the blood flowing across my tongue like nectar… My fangs slid from my gums, and I felt my body warring against my instincts. My breathing grew heavy, and I stood up. Everyone watched me as I grappled with myself. I yearned to lunge forward and drink, and I also wanted to run from the room and never go back.

Harry cautiously stood.

"Vivian," he whispered.

My head snapped to the side to look at him.

"Calm down, okay? It's alright. Do you need to leave for a few moments?"

"I… I want… I want her," I moaned, clawing at my face. "I want her." I pointed at Hermione, who looked at me with wide eyes. Her heart started beating faster, and I imagined the blood racing through her veins. "Get me out of here," I whispered, barely fighting myself. "Harry, get me out of here!"

He dragged me from the room. I fought him the whole way, begging him to let me taste her, but he held firm. He was surprisingly strong, for such a skinny boy. As soon as we left the room, he pressed me against the wall, looking right into my eyes. I fought, knowing full well that I could easily use my superior strength to escape the confines of his arms, but now that I was away from the object of my bloodlust, I was starting to calm down.

"Breathe," he whispered. "Just breathe, Vivian."

I did as he said, unable to speak. I took deep, long, rattling breaths, and felt my heart slow down. He gently kissed my cheek, sending my heart aflutter again.

"That's better," he whispered gently.

I bit my lip as he kissed my lips very softly

"Please," I whispered. "Please don't."

"Why?" he whispered, between soft kisses on my lips.

"Because…" I lost my train of thought as he kissed me some more

I gasped. He kissed me on my cheeks. I sighed as I kissed him back softly, his lips soft against mine. I imagined them covered in blood, and I licked his lips. He seemed surprised by that, but it seemed to fuel him. He parted his lips, and I traced his bottom lip with the tip of my tongue. My fang snagged his lip, and it started bleeding. It wasn't a lot; it was a very small cut, but I tasted it.

I began to suck his bottom lip, sighing softly. He didn't know what was going on; he just thought I was doing it as a part of the kiss. I took his bottom lip between my teeth and sucked, the ruby wonder flowing across my tongue and making me shiver.

I moved my mouth to his neck, where I kissed it. I went to bite, and he felt the tips of my fangs brush across his skin. He pulled away.

"No," He said in a firm voice.

I glared at him. "But… I want it." I leaned in, grabbing him, using my full strength.

He cried out, and everyone came rushing from the classroom. Ron, Ginny and Hermione looked with wide eyes. I looked at them and hissed.

Hermione pulled her wand out. "I hate to do this, Vivian," she said. "I'm sorry."

I hissed again.

"Petrificus Totalus!" she cried with a wave of her wand.

Suddenly, I was on the ground, and everyone was around Harry. I couldn't move or speak; I could only blink and watch as they led Harry away. He touched his lip and realized that it was cut. I tried to resist the restraints of the spell, but to no avail. Hermione was standing over me.

"We have to take her to Dumbledore," Hermione said. "He has to know that she attacked you."

"No," Harry said. "It wasn't her fault. She was… excited over what happened when she left."

She shook her head. "Then why wait so long before she tried to bite you?"

I tried to break the spell again. They all looked at me and noticed. I pleaded to Harry with my eyes. He nodded slightly. He bent down and touched my hand.

"I'm sorry," He whispered.

I didn't understand what he meant by that. But before I knew it, I was being suspended in the air, and Hermione was next to me, her wand held aloft.

"We have to, Harry. We can't just let this go. She has to be restrained."

"Hermione, no!" he cried. "Please, it was an accident!"

"Why are you defending her?" Ron asked. "She just tried to kill you, and you're saying to let it go?!"

"She didn't do it on purpose. She can control herself. It's just hard sometimes," he said.

Hermione shook her head. "I'm taking her."

Eventually, we arrived at the office. Harry mumbled the password, and we were on the staircase. Hermione knocked on the door, and it gently swung open.

"What on earth is this, Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked.

"Sir, Vivian just tried to bite Harry."

"Set her down, please."

She lowered me to the ground, and suddenly, I was able to move. I stood up and rounded on her.

"Why did you do that?!"

She cowered away from me, her eyes wide.

Harry touched my arm, and I looked at him. He just looked at me for a moment, not saying anything. But I knew what he was conveying: stop. I sighed and turned to face Dumbledore.

"I'm sorry, Sir. She's right. I tried to bite him."

He nodded, calm as ever. "I understand, Miss Moore, that this is hard for you. Have you been drinking the blood I've been providing?"

I nodded.

"Are you running low?"

"A little bit. Then again, there never seems to be enough." I sighed. "I really am sorry, Sir. I know you expect better of me."

"How… how are you getting her blood?" Hermione asked.

"Bagged blood from donors," I said.

She nodded and didn't say anything else.

"I see. Harry, are you hurt?" Dumbledore asked, turning his gaze to Harry.

He shook his head. "I'm fine, sir."

He looked at me. "Are you alright, Vivian?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm better now; although I should probably go drink some blood."

"That seems like a good idea. I have a few bags here for emergency purposes. Have some of these."

He gestured to the bags he had sitting on his desk. I lunged forward and grabbed one, sinking my teeth into the plastic. I sucked at the red liquid inside, rolling my eyes back in delight. It wasn't very warm, but it did the job, for the most part. I tossed the now empty bag onto the floor and grabbed another one. This time, I savored it, drinking it a little slower.

I looked over as I smiled in content. The smile was wiped off my face when I saw the expressions on Hermione's and Harry's faces. Hermione looked revolted, and Harry looked… frightened. We all knew that wrinkled empty piece of plastic on the floor could have easily been him, if Hermione hadn't stopped me.

When I drained the bag, I plucked the other one up off the floor and made to toss them into the waste bin.

"No need," Dumbledore said, and with a flick of his wand, they vanished.

"Thank you, sir." I said. "That's much better."

He nodded graciously. "You are quite welcome." He turned to Harry and Hermione. "Thank you for helping Vivian and restraining her. I would really hate to see something bad happen to any one of my students, Miss Moore included."

Hermione nodded. "You're welcome, sir."

We left the office not too long after that. There was an overwhelming silence between the three of us; but it wasn't one of the comfortable ones that we used to share before. It was strained and filled with tension.

"I'm just going to go to Ravenclaw Tower," I mumbled before branching away from them. I would collect my things later; I needed to be alone.

After a moment, I caught a very familiar scent coming from behind me.

"Leave me alone, Harry." I said.

He jogged a little bit before he caught up to me. He gently took me by my arms and looked right into my eyes. I kind of hated it when he did that; there was so much power within his emerald gaze that it sent shivers down my spine.

"Vivian, listen to me," he said softly.

I shook my head. "No, you listen to me." I broke free of his grasp and pointed at him. "I'm no good for you, Harry. As you can see, I'm not worth it. Hermione probably hates me now, Ron was always freaked out by me from the beginning, and I'm a reject." I shook my head. "I could have killed you back there! You and I both know that if you hadn't cried out and Hermione hadn't cast that spell on me then you would've been nothing but an empty shell."

"I don't believe that. You would've stopped," He said.

I let out a harsh laugh. "You have too much faith in people, Harry. You have to see the good in everyone. Well, there's no good here. It's better if I stay away from you."

He shook his head. "No."

"You like that word, don't you?"

He ignored that. "I don't care what you think; contrary to popular belief, you do have good in you. It just takes someone with an open mind and an open heart to see it. Something I've learned over the past few years is that people see what they want to see. When they thought I was a nutter, then they looked at me and saw a deranged boy who had been through too much trauma. And now all this 'Chosen One' business has people looking at me like an effing war hero, when just last year no one took me seriously and shunned me.

"Don't you see? People are blinded by their opinions and the things other people tell them. Because all of these people have been made to think that all vampires are blood-sucking monsters who kill with no mercy, that's the image that's going to come to mind when they think of you. But I know that's wrong. You're a good person; you just need someone to see it. You can't control what your body needs. You need blood, just like I would need food or water, and I can't blame you for that."

He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, making it even messier than it already was. "The point is, I know that you're a good person. It doesn't matter what anyone else says, or what they think. And no matter how many times you tell me to leave you alone, I'm not going to listen, because I'm not going anywhere."

I just looked at him. "You are such a Gryffindor; do you know that?"

He didn't say anything; he just kissed me, laughing the whole time.

**AN:** Reviews are always appreciated :)


	4. Merry Christmas?

Pretty soon, the holiday season was upon us. Snow blanketed the grounds, it was bitterly cold outside, and Christmas decorations were popping up all over the castle. There was mistletoe in the corridors, garland was strung around the suits of armor, and the traditional twelve humongous Christmas trees were put up and decorated in the Great Hall. The atmosphere was a rather cheerful one, despite the dark mood that had been permeating the castle before.

"Are you going with Ron for Christmas?" I asked Harry as we sat in an empty classroom and studied.

He nodded. "I always go with Ron for Christmas. Are you staying here?"

It was my turn to nod. "There's no way I can go home." I sighed. "No; this year, I'm going to have a nice, quiet holiday."

He frowned slightly. "Are you sure you can't go home?"

I scoffed. "Positive. They wouldn't take me back there if their lives depended on it."

"That's a bit dramatic."

I looked at him.

"I'm sorry, but it is. Have you tried talking to them?"

"What is there to say? 'Hey, mum and dad, how are you? By the way, I've been wondering if you hate my guts, or if you were just afraid I was going to kill you. Can I come home for Christmas?' I don't think that would go over well," I said with a shake of my head.

"You never know until you try."

I sighed. "I hate the fact that you're right."

He chuckled softly. "It's a rare occasion, but it's effective, when it does come around."

I laughed, looking down at my potions book. I looked over to see his ugly, battered old copy that he carried around with him all the time.

"What's the deal with this thing?" I asked, picking it up.

"What do you mean?"

I flipped through the pages, shaking my head at the sight of the written-on, torn pages. "This thing is a mess! What have you done to it?"

"I didn't do anything; it was like that when I got it."

"Why don't you just buy a new one? It might be better to read the instructions."

He snatched the book away, and tucked it into his bag. "Because, believe it or not, those scribbles in the margins are helping me in potions."

I raised an eyebrow. "That mess is helping you?"

He nodded. "Yes, it is." He bit his lip, seeming to wonder if he wanted to tell me something. "It belonged to someone who called himself 'the Half-Blood Prince'. And whoever he was, he was brilliant."

"Prince?" I scoffed. "Not likely. What a vain name to give yourself."

"I suppose so. But still, who cares if he was vain; he was bloody brilliant."

"Or barking insane," I said with a wink.

He laughed. "I don't know about that; he knows what he's doing. My potions are turning out better than Hermione's," he said with a satisfied grin.

"Better than Hermione's? This is serious."

He nodded. "Exactly; no one here is better than Hermione."

"Well… isn't that cheating, then?"

"How so?"

"I mean, this guy obviously wrote this down for himself, to help himself out. But if you use it to help you, then you're not doing honest work. That's cheating."

He frowned slightly. "I never thought about it like that."

"Well, I did, and I say you get rid of it and get a new copy."

"I have a new copy," he said sheepishly.

I raised an eyebrow again. "Then why aren't you using it?"

"Because…." He trailed off.

"Oh, I see," I said, nodding. "You like being the star of the show, don't you? You like being able to win things and be better than Hermione, for once. Well, what happens next year, when you need a different book and you have to take your N.E.W.T's? And everyone knows you're rotten at potions, and suddenly you're amazing? I'm sure somebody is suspicious."

"But I can't just give this up. It's got amazing stuff in it, like spells, and everything."

I frowned. "Spells? What kind of spells are we talking about here, Harry?"

"Well, there's this one that makes you hang upside-down by your ankles, and there's another one that I haven't tried yet, it's called Sectumsempra."

I shook my head, not liking the sound of that one bit. "It sounds fishy to me."

"It's fine, trust me. If I thought it was really dangerous, I would get rid of it."

I looked at him for a moment. "Whatever you say. But if something's wrong with it, then you need to promise me that you'll get rid of it."

"I promise."

"Good."

_

Not only had Harry been obsessing over a very suspicious potions book, but he was determined to stalk Malfoy. A lot. It was more than a little annoying, and even Ron and Hermione were starting to get irritated by it.

Now, no one is perfect, and I understand that more than anybody. But Harry's Malfoy obsession was just plain unhealthy. And it was starting to freak me out a bit. So, as any good girlfriend (was that what I was?) would do, I decided to confront him and try to work out the problem. I may not have been able to convince him to toss that foul old potions book, but I had a feeling I would get better luck with this. After all, he hated Draco Malfoy with a passion (and rightly so), so this had to be easier. Right?

Wrong.

"Harry, you have to listen to me. Even if Malfoy is up to something- which I would never doubt, given the git's nature- there is nothing you can do about it. Whatever it is, it's best to just let him screw up on his own and let him get himself in trouble," I said a few days later as we walked through the corridors to the library.

He looked up from his potions book, and sighed, snapping it shut. "You don't understand."

I stopped and rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. "Oh, I understand perfectly. I realize that you have this… thing against Malfoy. Perfectly understandable; not very fond of him myself. However, this is very stalker-like and borderline obsessive."

He shot me a look.

I walked over to him, and gently took his hands within my own. I looked into his eyes, my gaze softening. I brushed a strand of hair from his eyes and took his hand again.

"Harry, please. Just back off of him for a while. Please. You have way more important things to worry about, like getting that… 'special thing' for Dumbledore. Let Malfoy ruin his own life, okay? I think he can manage to cause trouble without you aiding and abetting him."

He gave a small laugh at that. I kissed the tip of his nose, and smiled.

"Just try to worry about yourself, for once. You never do that, you know. You always have someone else on the brain. Just worry about you, and let Malfoy worry about himself. Besides, Ron and Hermione are ready to snap your neck, and if you don't relax, I just might assist them." I gave him a wicked grin, showing off my fangs.

He rolled his eyes, but nodded. "Alright; I'll relax. But if he tries anything funny again…"

I looked at him for a moment. "Harry?"

"Yes?" he asked innocently.

"Shut up," I said, kissing him.

He didn't say a word.

Before I knew it, I was being roped into the torture that was Slughorn's Christmas party, which was not my ideal way to spend an evening, but Harry begged me to go, practically getting on his knees when he did so.

"Please, Vivian, come to this party with me," he'd said as we sat in the library.

"Oh, why? I hate Slughorn. He's a daft old fool, and he wears the most ridiculous clothing. Besides, I can think of several better ways to spend the evening, and one of them is detention with McGonagall. And that is really saying something."

"Please? Just this one time; he'll probably be gone next year, and we'll never have to go to another one of his stupid parties again."

I had my firm "Absolutely not" on the tip of my tongue, but the way he was looking at me with those big green eyes that were slightly covered by his adorably messy hair, with desperation and need on his face, I just couldn't bring myself to say no.

"Besides, if you don't go with me, I'll have to ask Luna, because Hermione already has a date."

That did it. "Fine, I'll go. I like Luna- don't get me wrong- but there is no way I'm letting you take Lovegood to a party over me."

He grinned, and kissed me sloppily before gathering his things.

"Thank you, Vivian. You have no idea how much this means to me."

He kissed me again and jogged away.

The smile on his face when I'd said yes and the extra kisses granted to me because of it were almost worth it.

Almost.

_

I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror. I wondered if I should wear robes, or if a Muggle dress would be appropriate for the occasion. I decided to play it safe and go with the robes, tossing my dress back into my trunk and slipping the robes on. They were pretty nice- a deep midnight blue, almost like my eyes, and slightly more form-fitting. They had some silver beading on them, as they were dress-robes, and they glittered when I moved around in the light. I smiled. I had been waiting for an occasion to wear these.

I went to the mirror and fixed my long, dark brown hair, piling it on top of my head and letting it fall like a fountain. I added some silver clips for a little extra sparkle, and moved on to my makeup. I swiped some icy silver eyeshadow over my eyelids, and put on some eyeliner and mascara. I put a small amount of rouge on my cheeks, and finished by painting my lips with a deep red lipstick that I had stolen from my mother years ago. Satisfied with my appearance, I put my little silver heels on, and made my way out in front of the entrance to the tower, where Harry said he would meet me.

While I was standing there, I spotted Eliza and her friends. They stopped and gaped when they saw me, all of them clearly taken aback at my appearance.

"Vivian- why are you dressed like that?" Eliza asked.

I raised an eyebrow. "If you really have to know, I'm going to Slughorn's Christmas party tonight. I'm just waiting for my date."

One of her friends scoffed. "Who would take a freak show like you to a party? He must either be stupid, blind, deaf, or just betting with his mates for a few Galleons and a laugh."

"Actually, neither of those. I'm taking her because I genuinely would like her company," Harry said as he walked up to us.

I smiled. He looked dashing in dark green robes, with his hair combed to be as tame as it could be. He was so… handsome. I gave my sister and her stupid friends a "Now what?" look. They looked at him in disbelief, looking back and forth between us.

"Harry Potter is taking you to the party?!" Eliza asked incredulously.

"Why wouldn't he? You sound surprised."

They all gaped, looking stupid. I bit back a laugh, savoring every second of the moment. I looked at Harry, and everyone else disappeared as our gazes locked. I smiled at him, and walked over to him, feeling like I was in a trance. He took my hand and kissed it, and I blushed slightly. I smiled.

"You look… b-beautiful," he whispered.

I giggled at his stumble. The poor boy was so awkward sometimes, but I loved it.

"You don't look too bad yourself. Who are you, and what have you done with Harry? Your hair is slightly tame. I feel like I've gone into an alternate reality."

He laughed, rolling his eyes, while Eliza and her friends still gaped at me stupidly. I smiled, and looped my arm through his.

"Shall we go, then?"

"Let's."

I heard the whispering start as soon as we began to walk away, but I could care less. Harry walked me down to the dungeons, and when we came to the corridor leading to the potions classroom, I gaped in wonder at the decoration just on the outside of the room. There were red and gold lanterns floating in the ceiling, casting cheerful light into the stone corridor.

We went inside, which was even more lavishly decorated than the corridor outside, and before I could really take it all in, we were swept up by Slughorn, who paraded Harry around the room like a child with a shiny new toy. I didn't really pay attention to any of them… until I met the vampire.

"Harry, this is my friend, Sanguini," Slughorn said.

My eyes snapped up to see the tall, dark-looking man standing next to some guy whose name I didn't pay attention to. We locked eyes, and he nodded slightly. I knew he could sense that I was a vampire, as well, because I could sense it within him.

"My name is Vivian," I said, extending a hand.

He took it, shaking it with a firm grip.

"Charmed," he said with a small smile.

"How did you end up here?" I asked.

He pointed to the man next to him. "He roped me into it," he said in a bored voice. "I really have no patience for these human affairs, but he said the host insisted that my presence was needed." He rolled his eyes slightly.

"I'm kind of in the same boat," I said, not sure how I was having such an effortless conversation with a complete stranger. "My date." I pointed to Harry.

His eyes drifted to Harry for a moment, where they lingered for a few seconds. "The Boy Who Lived," he whispered very slightly.

I nodded. "Indeed."

"Forgive me for this, but you are so young, my child. How long have you been turned?"

"One year in October," I said. "I only just came back to school at the start of term."

He looked at me with fascination. "Really? You returned? Why? It is rather dangerous, being around all of these humans. I'm sure that you are… tempted often."

I nodded. "Very often, as a matter of fact," I said. "However, I really have no where else to go. My family… well, they rejected me."

He nodded. "I understand how that feels."

"It's nice to have someone who understands that aspect, for once."

"Have you ever considered joining a coven?"

"I have," I said. "I just don't know where to look."

He pulled a card from the pocket of his robes, and handed it to me. "Well, whenever you decide that this place is too… suffocating for you, write to this address, and ask for Demitri. He can help you."

"Who's Demitri?" I asked.

"A good friend of mine," he said. "He is the leader of a good-sized coven. He can give you the help that you need. Tell him Sanguini referred you."

I nodded. "Thank you," I said, stunned.

"You are welcome, my child."

With that, he and his companion turned away, and Harry and I walked away from Slughorn.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"Just chatting with a fellow creature of the night," I said, fingering the card in my pocket.

_

Christmas came around, and I was alone. Honestly, it felt worse than I thought it would. I wrote to Harry during the holiday, but that just wasn't enough for me. And when Christmas day came around, I felt even worse. There was no word from mum and dad and Eliza, and I found myself sobbing, and glad for the deserted dormitory.

I sat there on my bed, the curtains drawn, hugging my knees to my chest and crying, rocking back and forth slightly. The pain was overwhelming. I never expected it to hurt this much; I had thought the worst of the pain had passed. Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way that I was very wrong. It was horrible, because I had always thought that I was so much stronger than this. This was just a sobering reminder that was not as strong as I'd convinced myself I was.

When I finally emerged from my little cave, I saw that the sun was shining outside. I caught a metallic glint out of the corner of my eye, and saw a small stack of wrapped parcels at the foot of my bed. There was one from Dumbledore, one from Luna Lovegood (who had always been a good friend of mine), one from Hermione (which surprised me, because I thought she hated me after I almost bit her), and one from Harry.

Dumbledore's present was a large book detailing the history of vampire society, tracing all the old bloodlines and detailing coven life, with a huge list of the most powerful, influential covens. I smiled, making a mental note to thank him when I saw him. Luna had given me a necklace on a thin silver chain. The pendant was a large heart that was filled with sparkling, colored smoke that changed colors at an easy, mesmerizing pace. I smiled fondly as I clasped it around my neck. Hermione had gotten me a leather-bound journal with my name on it, and a small note attached.

_Vivian;_

I'm sorry about what happened between us before. I'm sorry if what I did offended you, but it had to be done to protect Harry, and yourself. On a lighter note, I decided to give you something for Christmas. You can use this to record your thoughts and feelings, and to vent if there's no one listening. Because not many people are willing to lend an ear to you, I thought you might like a way to release your emotions. I hope you have a happy Christmas!

Sincerely,

Hermione

I smiled a watery smile as I flipped the pages, the smell of leather and parchment hitting my nose and making me smile. She had no idea how much this meant to me. I tucked the note into the journal, and moved on to Harry's gift.

I peeled away the paper, wondering what he decided to give me for Christmas. I wondered what he thought of my gift to him; I had sent him a box of Honeydukes' finest chocolate, along with an autographed poster of Viktor Krum. It had taken a lot of Galleons and even more persuasion from Slughorn to get it, but I acquired the poster eventually, knowing Harry would have a fit when he saw it. Or at least I hoped he would, anyway.

My heart drummed in my chest as I finished unwrapping the parcel, not at all aware of why I was so nervous about it. When I finally peeled back the last of the paper and tossed it onto the floor, I smiled. Lying inside a box was a box of Honeydukes chocolate (a bit of a running joke between us), and a red rose with velvety, deep blood-red petals.

It was the most beautiful flower I had ever seen. The petals were like silk between my fingers, and its scent was intoxicatingly sweet. The thorns were still on it. I liked that, though; it showed the irony of the beauty. I pulled out my wand, and with a few simple spells, I ensured that this particular rose would never die. I cradled it to my chest, and smiled, a film of tears threatening to shed themselves from my eyes. I wiped my eyes and tenderly laid the rose on my night-table, and stood from my bed, feeling much better about how the day would turn out.

I made my way down to the Great Hall a few hours later for Christmas dinner, where Dumbledore and several staff members were sitting with the few remaining students at a much smaller table than those that usually occupied the Great Hall. I sat down on the farthest end of the table, distancing myself from everyone else. Why did I even come down here?

Just as I got up to go back to my bed, I was stopped. I turned around to see Professor Flitwick smiling gently at me.

"Happy Christmas, Professor," I said.

"Happy Christmas, Miss Moore." He cleared his throat. "You really should stay for the festivities."

I shook my head. "I couldn't, possibly. I can't eat anything, anyway, and I just… don't quite belong here."

He looked at me with his normally twinkling eyes and nodded sadly. "If that is what you want, then so be it."

I turned around and went back to Ravenclaw Tower, pacing the common room. I was feeling antsy, and I wasn't sure why. I paced and paced, until I finally gave up and sat down in one of the rather comfortable chairs that were arranged before the fireplace.

And then it struck me.

I ran upstairs to the dormitories, and scanned the surface of my night-table. I smiled when I pulled out the pristine white card with Demitri's address written on it. I looked at it for a moment, remembering Sanguini's words.

"Well, whenever you decide that this place is too… suffocating for you, write to this address, and ask for Demitri. He can help you."

I didn't know who this Demitri bloke was, and exactly how much of a help he would be, but it was worth a shot. I pulled out a sheet of parchment and a quill, and set to work. When I finished my letter, I examined it carefully, making sure it sounded just right.

_Demitri,_

My name is Vivian Moore, and I am a sixteen year-old vampire. I was turned just over one year ago, and have been told by your friend Sanguini that if I was looking for a coven, this would be the place to go. I have decided to take him up on his advice, as I am in a bit of a predicament.

You see, I am currently attending school at Hogwarts. I knew my return would be risky, but I decided to brave it for personal reasons. However, this is proving rather challenging for me. My family and most of the school have ostracized me, and I feel… like an outcast. I only have one real, true friend here in this school, and although we're close, sometimes it just isn't enough. Not to mention the cravings, coupled with being surrounded by horribly tempting humans on a daily basis, and being in close quarters with them. I've almost bitten a girl, which pretty much ruined the tentative friendship we were building.

I have been looking into covens, and have been thinking about joining one a lot. Perhaps you could give me some advice as to how this works, and where I should start. I feel as if I am at a loss here, and I don't know where else to turn. This seems to be the only option left for me. Is there any way you could give me some advice on it? All help is greatly appreciated.

Regards,

Vivian Moore

I sealed the letter, and tied it to the leg of my owl, Harpy. He flew away into the frigid Christmas air, and I settled down on my bed, mulling things over.

When had I decided that Harry wasn't enough? I hadn't even realized what I'd written that until I read the letter over. But was it true? Or was it just my lack of exposure to other vampires? Maybe I was just craving the company of someone who truly understood me. While Harry knew what it was like to be an outcast, he had no idea what it was like to be a vampire. I was clinging to the hope that this Demitri character would really give me some good advice, and help me out.

After all, that was all I had left, wasn't it?


	5. Revelations

I had passed a note to Harry asking him to meet me on the third floor in an empty classroom as soon as he could. Within a few hours, as I paced inside the room, I heard the door open, and before either of us could say a single word, I barreled into Harry, throwing my arms around his neck and planting a loving kiss smack on his smiling mouth. When we pulled away, he was gasping for air, and sputtered, blushing slightly in surprise and embarrassment, his heart hammering.

"Oh, Merlin, I'm so glad you're back," I whispered, leaning into him. "I missed you so much."

He hugged me tightly, his heart still beating abnormally fast. "I missed you, too," he whispered, stroking my hair.

I pulled away just enough to look at him and beam.

"I loved my Christmas present, by the way. That rose was beautiful."

He smiled. "I'm glad you liked it. I thought it fit you. I know it's nothing fancy, but it was pretty, and I wasn't sure what to get you. The chocolates were a given, but I didn't know what else. But when I saw that flower, I decided it was perfect."

I kissed him. "Well, I loved it."

He smiled triumphantly. "Speaking of gifts that people love, I really liked that poster."

I smiled. "I really hoped you would. I went through a lot to get that thing for you."

"Well, it was brilliant." He beamed.

"So, how was your holiday?" I asked.

"It was nice. Crowded. Filled with food. The usual." He leaned down and looked me in the eyes. "How was yours?" he asked softly, his fringe hanging in his eyes.

I brushed his hair from his eyes, and sighed softly. "It was… tolerable, I guess."

"Are you okay?"

I looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but pure concern. He was just so loving; sometimes, I could hardly stand it.

"You have the biggest heart on the planet, Harry," I whispered, throwing my arms around him and burying my face in his chest.

He hugged me tightly. "I'm sure there are people out there who are much better than me."

"Not to me, there aren't."

The next few months passed without much incident. The only thing that was really bothering me was Harry and his love affair with that stupid potions book. He continued to carry it around everywhere, and he was completely engrossed in it. Snape continued to give us ruthless work for Defense Against the Dark Arts, talk of career options was being thrown at us left and right, and Harry still hadn't managed to get that memory from Slughorn.

"Dumbledore said we can't go any further until I get that memory, but every time I try to get him alone, he runs away from me. I just can't get him alone long enough to ask him for it," he said one evening as we sat in the Room of Requirement, sprawled out on cushions.

"Well, I can't think of anything."

He gave me a pointed look. "You're a Ravenclaw; surely, you have better ideas than I do."

"I do, but most of them involve lots of complicated wandwork, hidden rooms, and rope. Lots of rope. Slughorn is a big man." I flashed a grin.

He rolled his eyes, laughing. "This is exactly why I love you," he said through his laughter.

I froze. Did he just say…

He stopped laughing, his face going serious. "Is something wrong?"

I looked at him, my eyes wide. "Did… Did you just say that you love me?"

We stared at each other for a moment, neither one of us saying anything. Green eyes met blue, and something passed between us. I don't know what it was, but my God, it was beautiful.

"I… I love you," he whispered, as if realizing it for the first time.

"You love me?" I repeated like an idiot.

"I love you," he said again, nodding quickly. "Vivian… I love you."

I stood, and he stood with me. We stared at each other for a moment, and before either of us could say a word, I was kissing him. Our lips collided in an explosive force, consumed with passion, and longing, and need, and… love. There was love in that kiss; I could taste it. It tasted like muffins; like our first kiss. It tasted like muffins, and roses, and Honeydukes chocolate. It tasted like blood, and butterbeer, and lake water. It tasted like… us.

When we broke away, his eyes were filled with that fire again. They were burning, and blazing, filling my heart with a matching fire. I wondered if it was reflected in my eyes, too. His lips were soft, and slightly swollen. He smiled, and my heart skipped a beat.

"I love you, too," I whispered, pressing my lips to his neck.

I kissed him, very softly, on the pale, soft flesh of his neck. It was more like a kiss of trust; I was showing him that I would never hurt him. And in that moment, I knew that I would do everything within my power to protect this boy from harm. I knew that I would do anything for him; even if it meant risking my own life. Was I aware that he was at the center of the madness that filled our world? Who wasn't? I knew that in the end, he would have to face Voldemort, and that he might not make it. But you know what? That didn't make me any less proud to be his. For him to be mine. In fact, it made me even more proud. My heart swelled with pride for him, because he was the gem of the Wizarding world, and he was all mine.

He may have been at the center of the war that was coming, and in the middle of the madness, but in that moment, I knew that as long as he was at the center of the madness, that no matter how tough things got, and no matter how much pain and how many trying times lay ahead of us, that I would be right there with him, every step of the way. And no one could deter me from that.

After that moment in the Room of Requirement, we went public. It was actually my idea; even though I was a reclusive type who didn't like my business to be out there for everyone to know it, I figured there was no point in hiding it anymore. We were completely open about our relationship, holding hands in the corridors, going on the Hogsmeade trip together, and studying in the library where everyone could see us. It was oddly liberating.

Ron wasn't too pleased with Harry for deciding to 'consort with the enemy', and Hermione seemed doubtful, but never said a cross word to me.

"Do you…. Do you feel uncomfortable about me being with Harry?" I asked Hermione one afternoon in the library.

She looked up from her Ancient Runes book, and bit her lip. "Well, I can't say that I'm really uncomfortable; I'm just a bit… nervous."

I nodded. "I know, and I understand your concern. Believe me, there is never a moment when I'm not thinking about Harry's safety. I'm being as cautious as possible, and other than that accident outside the classroom all those months ago, there hasn't been any problems. It might be a bit hard to believe, but all of my other feelings for him usually block out the cravings."

"Usually?"

"Well, I'm still a vampire; it's natural instinct to catalogue heart-rate, blood flow, blood type, and vulnerability.  
However, being with Harry… he makes me forget all of that. When I'm with Harry, I feel… human." I looked at her. "You can understand that to some degree, right?"

She looked at the table for a moment, biting her lip again. When she looked at me again, her warm brown eyes were soft. She gave a soft sigh, and nodded very slightly.

"I… I think I can see what you're saying."

I rested my hand on top of hers. "I don't expect anyone to completely understand, but if you could just try to empathize a little bit, then that would be really helpful. I know this is hard for you to accept, because he's your best friend, and I get that. I really do. I just… I need your help. He'll feel better about this if you open up to how you feel about this. And I think that it'll diffuse some of the tension."

Hermione gazed at our touching hands, and her gaze softened. She looked at me, a fierce new determination burning in her big brown eyes. "I promise I'll try to be more open about this," she whispered. "I… I want him to be happy. He deserves happiness more than anyone else I've ever met."

"Thank you," I whispered.

She nodded. "You're more than welcome."

The most interesting thing that happened over the next month was the Apparating lessons that were being held in the Great Hall. Any student that was going to be seventeen within the next few months or already was seventeen was more than welcome to participate in the free lessons. That was all anyone talked about in the common room.

"Did you hear about the Apparation lessons?" Padma Patil asked Sylvia.

Sylvia nodded excitedly. "Are you going to do them, then?"

Padma nodded. "I wouldn't miss it. Parvarti and I are going together. It's going to be really fun."

"Until someone gets splinched," I said from my armchair.

They turned their gazes on me, their eyes widening slightly.

I shrugged. "What? It's our first time; it's bound to happen to somebody. And besides, it's a room full of teenage witches and wizards trying to Apparate all over the Great Hall, and that just says trouble in itself."

"Well, what do you know?" Anna McKinn, a girl who used to be a good friend of mine, chimed in from one of the worktables.

"Oh, come on, Anna, it's common logic. A first year could put it together."

She sneered at me. "Go stuff it, Moore."

I stood up, and was in front of her in half a second. "When did I become Moore? I thought we were friends, Anna. What happened to that?"

"I don't hang out with freaks," she spat.

I got closer to her, my fangs bared. "You wanna call me a freak again, McKinn?"

Her face went pale, and she backed away against the wall. Now everyone else was staring, their eyes wide and their faces pale. I watched as Terry Boot slowly drew his wand from his pocket.

"Turn that wand on me, Boot, and you'll be sorry."

He stuck it back in his pocket and held his hands up in surrender. I turned to face the crowd, and let out a low, menacing hiss from deep within my gut. Several first years jumped and screamed; one girl fainted. Anthony Goldstein caught her, and stared at me. I shook my head and ran out of the tower, my hand gripping my wand so hard my knuckles seemed translucent. I ran all the way to the Room of Requirement, where I ran right smack into Draco Malfoy.

"Watch where you're going," he spat.

I hissed, and he looked up at me. His pale face went even paler, and his gray eyes became as round as Galleons.

"Just get out of my way," I growled.

He stepped to the side, and ran down the corridor like the coward he was. I paced in front of the space where the door would appear, thinking of a place where I could clam down. The door appeared in the wall, and I ran inside, slamming it closed behind me. I walked into a room with huge windows that had sunlight streaming through them. There were floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, filled with all kinds of volumes, and cushions and chairs. There was an ebony piano sitting in the center of the room.

I walked over to it in awe, gently running my fingers across the glass-like surface of the instrument. I hadn't played the piano since before I was bitten. That was almost two years ago.

I sat down at the bench, and closed my eyes. When I opened them, there was a folder of sheet music; all Beethoven. I flipped over to Symphony Number Nine, and began to play. The music danced around me, and I think that the master himself would've been impressed with the angst that I used to fuel my playing. I violently stroked the ivory and ebony keys of the piano, watching my pale fingers move with incomprehensible speed, not even slipping on the tears that had begun to fall onto the keys, making them slick. I played and played and played, tears of frustration and rage spilling out of my eyes and onto the keys. I wished that the room wasn't soundproof so that everyone could hear me; I wanted the whole world to know that Vivian Moore hated everyone.

There was only one exception to my tirade of hatred, of course. But maybe hate was a strong word. I didn't care; either way, there was only one person I cared about anymore.

Harry.

I pictured his face in my mind; every line, plane, and angle of that angel's face. The shape of his almond eyes; his narrow nose; his strong jaw; the lightning scar on his forehead that was always covered by his messy fringe; his thin lips, and how they turned pale when he was upset or angry; how his eyes lit up whenever he was struck with an idea; all of it. I pictured his hands- how soft and gentle they were against my skin; how strong they were around my hands; the texture of the raised words etched into his skin there.

He was perfect, in every way, scars and all, and I wasn't. I knew he would tell me otherwise if I ever said it out loud, but that was how I felt. But maybe we were perfect for each other; the two broken, rejected souls; the lonely kids; the ones who were stuck on the outside, while being the center of the inside, all at once. The two orphans; the ones who didn't know their families. We were one and the same, Harry and I; the only major difference was that it turned him into a much better person.

I stopped playing, and leaned against the piano, breathing heavily. After a moment, I stood, and walked to the door of the room. I could have hid in there forever, if I really wanted to. But I had so many things out there waiting for me; and even though some of it was ridicule and hatred, I needed to keep going. If not for myself, then for Harry, because even after everything he'd been dragged through, he was still fighting. And he had been through much worse than I had.

So, with Harry in mind, I took one step at a time, away from my hide-away. With each step towards the door, I felt lighter and lighter, the weight on my chest lifting slowly. My heart swelled with anticipation to greet the rising sun, and I pictured Harry's face; heard his voice; felt his lips against mine as I left the room, closing the door firmly behind me.  
And I never looked back.

With the rising sun came liberation. I felt better than I ever had before. And even as I walked to Professor Dumbledore's office, surely to be berated for my actions in the common room the day before, I walked with my head held high. I didn't need them; I only needed myself. That self-assurance was all I needed to get me through the rest of the school year.

I gave the password to the griffin statue, and stepped onto the slowly circling staircase. When it came to the door, I knocked.

"Enter, Miss Moore," I heard Dumbledore say softly.

I opened the door and stepped in, easing the old wood shut behind me. I walked over and sat in front of his desk, waiting patiently for him to speak.

He didn't. I don't know how long we sat there, but we did so in silence, merely gazing politely at one another. There were small sounds to be heard all around, but between us, there was nothing. The portraits looked on curiously, all wondering what was going to happen. I simply waited.

"You have come through a change, Vivian," Dumbledore said after a long time.

I nodded. "That I have, sir. And a rather good one, if I may say so."

He inclined his head. "By all means, feel free to say what you wish about it. Tell me; did this change have anything to do with yesterday?"

"It had everything to do with yesterday, and every day before that," I said simply.

I heard some of the portraits murmur about me being rude, but Dumbledore merely smiled at me, his eyes twinkling.

"Excellent. I was wondering when this change would happen. You see, Miss Moore, I always had a feeling that something good would come out of this. I would say that your ordeal has certainly changed you for the better."

"I think, sir, that is too early to tell."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

I nodded. "I believe so. I don't know if I'm a good person or not yet, but I can assure you of this; I know where I belong."

"You do?"

"I've reached that conclusion, and I've decided that where I belong is not here."

He nodded slowly. "I thought you might say that."

"There are people here that I care deeply about, but…. This is not my world anymore, Professor. I'm not a human anymore. I've accepted that."

He smiled. "I think, Vivian, that it is safe to say that you are no longer a child."

"I think I agree with you, sir."

"Excellent; excellent. I'm glad that you agree with me. I had always thought that something good would come of this."

"I can't say that I felt the same, sir, but I'm glad that you had faith in me."

He smiled gently over his half-moon spectacles. "There is so much good within you, Miss Moore, that there is no way that you shall ever become a bad person. I think there is no such thing as a bad person; only bad decisions. I believe in you, Vivian. I really, truly do."

I was stunned by his words. I felt tears spring to my eyes at the surprising onslaught of emotion that went through me. I thought I was through with shedding tears, but there was something different about this time. I smiled.

"I could never thank you properly, sir," I finally managed to say.

He returned my smile. "There is no need, my dear. Just know that your happiness and content is thanks enough. You may go now."

I nodded and stood, and looked at him.

"I just want you to know, sir, that without you, I honestly don't know where I'd be right now."

"Well, luckily, we shall never have to find out, shall we?"

"No," I said, smiling. "And thank Merlin for that."


End file.
